Please, Give My Wife a Good Husband

By Zhang Chang-lin

It was not that I was making fewer mistakes, nor that I had become perfect. Rather it was because my wife, since becoming a believer was more tolerant of my mistakes.

Ever since I believed in the Lord in London, England, ten years ago, I had kept praying for my wife's faith. Ten years had gone by and still my prayers didn't seem to be being answered.

Actually my wife has always been a great person. Her name is Gao Xin-er. She was intelligent and hard-working, attractive and kind-hearted. She respected her parents. After we were married she naturally became the best of wives and mothers. The meals she prepared were delicious and the flowers she tended were beautiful. Above all, she helped raise our much-envied son. Everybody said I was a lucky man.

I am indeed a greatly blessed man. Like many others of my age, I have endured much suffering and witnessed many human tragedies. I was not able to finish high school nor receive formal higher education. Yet I went on to become a college professor - a miracle indeed.

When I became a college professor, my wife became an outstanding teacher's wife. I enjoyed a great relationship with my students, and we had many conversations and discussions, ranging from science to philosophy. But their most intimate secrets were made known to my wife alone. They would come to her for advice when they had dates and they would seek comfort from her when their dates went sour. So you can imagine what a large loving heart she had.

My wife had her shortcomings too. She worried a lot, and because of this she had many fears. Because of her anxieties she often lost her temper, and this sometimes put me in an awkward position. For ten years I continually prayed for her and hoped that she too could become a believer and so gain faith and strength from the Lord. Ten years had gone by and nothing had happened.

During Easter this year, our whole family attended the all-Germany Chinese Christian Training Camp. Rev. and Mrs. Li from Overseas Campus gave lectures on the subject of the Christian family. Rev. Li quoted from another pastor: "I don't pray for God to give me a good wife. But I pray for God to give my wife a good husband."

I felt ashamed of myself when I heard this. I already had a good wife, but I was still praying for God to give me a perfect wife. On the other hand, I had never prayed that my wife might be given a good husband. I had a lot of shortcomings of my own. I often made mistakes and my wife would get anxious about my blunders. After I became a believer, I didn't really make much spiritual progress. So I became a second-class Christian. In my wife's eyes I could only seem worse than before.

Without a positive testimony, how could others see the light of Jesus Christ through me? So I repented before the Lord. The next morning, for the first time, I began to pray to the Lord to give my wife a good husband. To my great surprise, in less than 36 hours, the Lord answered my first prayer by giving me a perfect wife. She accepted the Lord!

It was the evening following my prayer that she suddenly decided to accept the Lord. As she was repeating her prayer after the pastor, she was shaking and tears were pouring down her cheeks. She very seldom wept. When I realized that she had received new life and was experiencing the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I could not hold back the tears running down my own cheeks.

On the last day of the Training Camp, our group leader suggested that I give a public testimony. I gladly shared the greatest event in our family with them all. At the end I also introduced my wonderful wife and son to the audience and invited everybody to give thanks to the Lord that He was now the Lord of our family. We wanted to work hard to build a Christian family, a family that would serve the Lord. And I asked them all to pray for us.

To my great surprise, a lot of people were in tears following my testimony. I had been a teacher for many years and had often given lectures that made people laugh, but I had never given lectures that left people weeping. This must have been the work of the Holy Spirit, not mine.

On our return from the Training Camp, I felt that I must be growing perfect; or at least this was what my ears seemed to be telling me. My wife was complaining much less about me now. Then I realised that it was not that I was making fewer mistakes, nor that I had become perfect. Rather it was because my wife, now that she was a believer, was being more tolerant of my mistakes. As she put it, she had given me over to the Lord to discipline me for her.

At this time, I started to really understand the verse in the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." If we cannot forgive our debtors, how can we ask the Lord to forgive our own debts? Now I understand why it was not until I began praying my second prayer asking the Lord to give my wife a perfect husband, that the Lord answered my ten-year-long first prayer asking the Lord to give me a perfect wife!

So, has the Lord answered my second prayer? Frankly, I prayed and yet I had no confidence because I knew I was far from perfect. I had been born in sin and I made so many mistakes every day. It would be very hard to transform that old self. All I can do is keep praying to God for ten years, twenty years or even fifty years. Then my wife will have a perfect husband when we meet again in Heaven.

So my prayer for my wife to be given a perfect husband needs to be a lifelong prayer. At the same time I will learn to pray that the Lord may give my son a good father and give my friends a good companion.

Since my wife believed in the Lord, she has put our whole family into the Lord's hands. So she is not nearly as anxious as before, nor as fearful or angry. And so our family has become more harmonious and more joyful. The Gospel brings true joy.

The author came from Hangzhou and now carries out research work in Germany.