Overcoming Adolescence - A Response to 'May I Walk Slower?'

By Liu Tongsu

The Melancholy of Adolescence

This brother who calls himself "bum" is indeed no bum. He wrote a long article to seriously analyze himself, and from whom he reveals the common spiritual condition of Mainland Chinese Christians - spiritual adolescence.

When one is in adolescence, looking forward to being a grown up, the road appears long and never ending; but looking back, the road back to childhood is already closed. Thus one feels that one is in the middle of nowhere, squeezed between 'Egypt' and 'Canaan', awkwardly not being able to fit in. Therefore emotions like frustration, desperation, depressed, self-pity, blameful, become the melancholy of adolescence. Currently many Mainland Chinese Christians hold such an attitude.

Of course, there are people who turn this youthful seeking to fervent movement. Expressing one's fervent emotion in imagination, and jump into adulthood that has not yet arrived, is a sign of adolescence. Towards the end of the nineties, certain extreme spiritual movements become popular among overseas Mainland Chinese Christians; they carry symptoms of adolescent fervor.

Melancholy and fervor are not yet 'bums'. True 'bums' consider youthful immaturity as perfect life. Those people who grew beard yet insisting on being fed by milk, feeling OK with their attitude while refusing to take up responsibility, they are true 'bums'. Feeling at ease being a bum, and hoping that one can enter into the Kingdom of Heaven by behaving like a bum, that is the real tragedy.

To be born is to live

The theological foundation of these 'bums' is to separate 'salvation' from 'sanctification'. Those who refuse to grow up proclaim that 'being saved' and 'being sanctified' are two mutually non-interfering processes. Therefore, without being sanctified, one can still be saved, have eternal life and be guaranteed a seat in the Kingdom of Heaven.

According to this theory, one can be born and not live, and still have life. In practice, being born is to live. Being born is the starting point, and living is the process. Without process, the starting point is no starting point.

By the same token, salvation and sanctification are equivalent to being born and living. Salvation is the one time commitment of one's life under the sovereignty of God; and sanctification is to put the entire process of living under the sovereignty of God. If we do not commit every part of our lives under the sovereignty of God, God's sovereignty over us would be imaginary.

Just like being born is realized as part of living, salvation and sanctification have inseparable connections. One who has not lived cannot get into the Kingdom of Heaven with just a birth certificate.

Parents' Hearts

Adolescent people often complain that their parents are too strict. People going through the stage of spiritual adolescence have similar complaints. The 'May...' article is such an example. The views of adolescents are limited by their immaturity. They saw the freedom of adults; yet ignore the responsibilities adults have to bear. They enjoy results, but neglect where the results come from. They fail to see what others have done for them, yet always manage to find fault with others. They consider grace as a natural thing, and discipline as a totally unnecessary burden.

Children who complain about parents' discipline never pay attention to where their food, their room, their clothing, and their books come from. Their parents pay the price of everyday hard work to allow them to naturally enjoy all these.

Kids who play outside until 2:00 am in the morning only see the fun side of playing without realizing the dangers of being outside late at night and the hurdles such behavior places upon their study and growth. They only heard their parents' criticisms and restrictions on them but fail to observe that their parents, who worked the whole day, are waiting for their return with great concern.

The author of 'May...' mentioned the book of Numbers, so he has indeed experienced the trip in the wilderness. The problem is that according to his experience, he has not yet realized the meaning of such a trip (being in the wilderness yet does not know what is and why he is the wilderness). As a pastor for overseas Mainland Chinese Christians, my journey over the last few years is an experience just like that in Numbers (where you are, your pastor shall be).

However I saw a different picture from that by the author of the 'May...' article. While he only saw the discipline, I also saw the supply of manna and spring water, and the leading of the cloud and fire pillars. Where he considered the punishment too severe, I saw the sin of smiting one's father and brother (see Numbers 14:3-4, 10), and the plan to abandon eternal life in favor of death. Through God's pronouncement for the congregation to depart from the tents of those destined to die (Numbers 16:23-24), I saw the admonishment aspect of God's discipline, as well as His love and mercy.

Of course we quote the book of Numbers not to recount what happened in the past, but to use it as a mirror to discern our living today. What you do not see in Numbers, for sure you will not see it today in your surroundings; what you misinterpret from Numbers, for sure today you will misinterpret in your daily environments.

The suffering the Israelites went through was a consequence of their sin. But what is the reason that Moses would be insulted, complained, murderously plotted, forsaken, rebelled against, and challenged; yet he continued to accept, teach, lead, and pray for those who were against him?

I am not just quoting from the past. Today, how many pastors caring for Overseas Mainland Chinese do not have similar experiences as Moses? To pastor is to bear the cross for those being pastored (bear their sins), and without the love from God, who would take up such a thankless task? It is almost for sure that the pastors and co-workers cultivating among Overseas Mainland Chinese are like Moses, that they experience the wilderness but never get to see Canaan. Yet there are just so many that are willingly committing their lives to this ministry.

At the same time, there are also many Mainland Chinese Christians who do not serve, do not tithe, at the receiving end of God's grace yet still complaining. Who are those that continuously delivering God's love? God's love and grace have been materially given to you through His body, and you have received them while being unthankful. In fact, God has spoken but you closed your ears refusing to listen; God has loved you but you felt that is a bother.

The Road to Adulthood

"How to grow" has become a general issue in Overseas Mainland ministry. Many have sought the secret to it. However, growing up never has any secret. When I was young, in order to increase the rate of growing up, some friends have hung themselves on door sills; ridden Type 28 motorcycles; took height-enhancing drugs; smoked behind adults; and went with bigger kids on some escapades. However these childish tricks have not made them instant adults.

To grow is to experience, and experience takes time. If one does not experience what one has to go through while growing up (including frustration), one cannot become an adult. One can only grow through our daily living. Whether it is waking up one morning one discovered one becomes an adult, or be filled by the Holy spirit and thus sanctified in one day, these things only exist in one's immature dreams. "To live daily" is the non-secret path to sanctification.

What do I mean by living daily? If we look back at how we grow up, every day we went to school, studied, went home, ate dinner, did homework, played, and slept. A more detailed analysis shows that within these day to day living there are three factors that influence our growing up:

1. Influence of the environment. Due to the adolescent's dependency and status of a student, their environment exerts a far greater influence on them than vice versa. They build themselves up through imitation of their surrounding. The combination of family, school, friends, and neighborhood, determine to a large degree a child's future. A family without love; a school with bad influence; friends that belong to gangs; a drug infested neighborhood; it is not difficult to imagine what kind of adult a child will become with such a picture.

To grow into adulthood with Christ's life, one needs to grow in an environment that is full of Christ's life. The life of Christ can only be found within Christ's body. The relationship with the church thus becomes a key to whether one grows. Among your acquaintances whom you befriend and can share with them your inner feelings, how many are true Christians? Do you on a regular basis meet with a pastor or a mature Christian for discussions that involve your spiritual life, and set him or her as an example for how to live? Do you regularly attend church fellowship, Sunday worships and other meetings?

If you can take part in the church in this fashion, your life will have marked progress.

Going deeper, can you develop a common destiny relationship with the church? If you cannot, then you cannot expect to bring in the great flow of Christ's life into your own through such shallow ditches. Do church matters bother you? Have you discovered that the income of the church is insufficient to pay for the church's expenses? Would you lose sleep at night over it? Would you truly regard the pastor as your teacher or parent? Would this teacher or parent influence your decision when accepting a job offer?

If you are not influenced by the life environment God has arranged for you, how can your life be changed because of it?

2. Comprehensive experience. Life is a combined whole; thus one can only get life through a comprehensive experience. What are the deciding factors for one's growth from childhood to adulthood? Knowledge learning? Moral admonishment? Psychological development? Right exercises? Eating right? It is not any single item, but rather a combination of all of the above. If during the growth of a child any single item is missing, then there is not just a shortcoming in that area, but his entire quality of life would suffer.

By the same token, one cannot reach maturity in spiritual life only through one of the following: bible study; praying; offering; meeting; or gospel preaching. Applying any one in isolation may only touch upon certain aspects of life, but not the entirety of one's life. Furthermore, the mechanical combination of all the necessary elements is not life; but in the synthesis of the whole life, each component is given its meaning in life. Continuously and comprehensively living a Christian life will result in spiritual growth.

3. The increase in responsibilities. From the point of view of law, an 'adolescent' implies someone who cannot take full responsibility for his of her actions. A more explicit explanation is that an adolescent is not responsive to his outside world like an adult is.

Responsiveness is a symbol of adulthood. The implication of an 'adult' Christian is that he shoulders the responsibility of his own spiritual growth. A spiritual child would ask, "What can the church do for me?" But a spiritual adult would ask instead, "What can I do for the church?"

Spiritual growth is to learn to shoulder responsibilities a Christian must shoulder. One does not live after one learns how to live; but to learn how to live while living. Likewise the sense of responsiveness must be built up while bearing responsibilities. If one refuses to be responsive, one also refuses to grow.

Impediment or stage

The 'May...' article attributed all defeats, difficulties, disasters, etc. to God's discipline. This statement comes from a concept that is not clarified. Most natural disasters fall upon people both good and bad, and thus cannot simplistically be categorized as God's discipline. Insisting that the life of Christ must be in conflict with secular values, therefore the cross must necessarily be borne. On the outside the cross is God's striking (see Isaiah 53:4), but to a Christian it is God's blessing.

Sometimes the adolescents may be too optimistic because there is a large imagination component in their assessment of their environment. Sometimes though they are too pessimistic as they emphasized their difficulties due to a lack of faith in their spiritual life. The attitude of overseas Mainland Chinese Christians towards the cross has shifted from highly recommended in the beginning, to general fear nowadays; this psychological change is intricate but normal. It is easy to sing praises of learning from the martyrs, but when you graduate from high school, it would be difficult to ask you to go to the frontline as a soldier. The high-spirited singing comes from a lack of experience; the general fear comes from real-life encounter with the cross.

Those spiritual adults who have experienced the cross, on the contrary, do not fear the difficulty that comes with the cross. They have experienced God's presence in the process, and have an intimate knowledge of the full ramification of the cross. The cross not only breaks down, it also builds up. When God calls upon you to bear the cross, He also provides you the strength to bear it. Those who experience the cross not only experienced what it is like to bear the same yoke with God and possess the strength, but also received the transcending fullness and joy that only come through bearing the cross.

God would not permit man to be oppressed by the cross; but many are themselves scared by the cross. The fear to bear the cross does not come from a lack of self-confidence, but from a lack of faith on the God who works within one's life. In reality, the cross is a state of mind. Only through experience can one appreciate its truth; and only through an appreciation of its truth can one have faith. How can one become an experienced person? Only by experiencing. The strength and faith that allow one to bear the cross are developed through material bearing of the cross.

Not quite grown up yet

There is another incident that may not be related to the 'May...' article, but the people involved were in the same spiritual stage. Towards the end of the nineties, the conflicts in church caused by Mainland Chinese Christians are gradually increasing. A general phenomenon is refusal to accept authority and unbridled criticism. It was reported that some tried to occupy the pulpit and some walk out as a group.

Maybe it is because prior to the late nineties, we all lie in cradles without any knowledge, and accept whatever teaching from others. When we grow to adolescence, we know a little but not all. Based on the little we know, we want to exercise the right of adults; however, since we don't really know we kept making mistakes.

Unresponsive to teaching and acting independently demonstrated that we, the Mainland Chinese Christians, have grown up a bit (therefore not an absolute negative). However it showed that we have not grown quite big enough. I suggest that we pay more attention to our responsibilities, and less to our rights (or authorities). If you don't even have responsiveness, how would God grant you rights?

The author comes from Mainland China, and currently serves as pastor to New Life Chinese Alliance Church, New York, and Research Associate at Nyack Theological Seminary.