Overwhelming Love

- An interview with the Chens who have given up life in North America to return to their home village in China to preach the Gospel

By Tian Ying

It was your own hands that willingly gave up worldly vanities;

It is your own feet that willingly walk the path of sufferings.

Not that you had no choice but to "choose" this journey;

But in perfect freedom you courageously made your decision!

And so you elect to stay with the tears which flow into your heart;

With your eyes on the mountain tops of Golgotha,

You will never turn back, not even till death!

--To the nameless missionaries

Brief biographies of Chen Hong and Lin Fang:

Chen Hong: from China. where he earned a master's degree in mathematics. He came to Canada in August 1994. In April 1998 he received his Ph.D. in mathematics. In the fall of 1999 he returned to his home village in China and to become a full-time missionary.

Lin Fang: also from China where she had received a B.A. degree in English literature. She came to Canada in 1995 to study computer science. In the fall of 1999 she accompanied her husband back to China and became a full-time missionary.

Why study mathematics?

Q: Mr. Chen, I am sure you must have had your own special dreams. You were raised in the country but went on to become a college student, a graduate student and finally an overseas scholar. Tell me about your dreams?

Chen: I grew up in a very poor family. My only dream then was to study hard and become famous. Because of my poor family background, I was not able to get advice about different fields of study so I picked on mathematics because all that would cost me was a piece of paper and a pencil. When I was taking my college entrance exams I was expected to nominate some specific fields, all my choices were in math departments. For one thing my family really was very poor, and I liked math anyway. I just wanted to get enrolled in some college and to leave home for good.

Q: Were you successful in China and get to enjoy the satisfactions that go with that?

Chen: Yes, I did. I really enjoyed being a graduate student When I was in the Mathematical Computation Center in the Science Institute I was really happy. I was an above average math scholar. and as a graduate student I had several papers published in overseas journals. I knew I was really good at math and especially when I got several papers published in my first year at the Computation Center. It was wonderful just to be able to settle down, get stuck into into math and come up with some new little insight or formula. Most mathematicians are not particularly interested in financial rewards or fame. They do math because they enjoy it, and that was how it was for me.

After getting to Canada, many of us switched to the field of computer science. But I did not follow that trend. I simply could not turn down the opportunity of being paid just to continue research in my favorite field. But none of this enjoyment could compare with the joy that came to me when I believed in the Lord. It was like drinking a large draught of nice wine. You may have a wonderful feeling of well-being at the time, but by the next morning the pleasurable sensations are gone. It's all transient.

What did you have in mind when you came abroad?

Q: Lin, you were married in China. When Chen decided to go overseas, like all of us you must have had lots of plans in mind. Can you tell us what yours were?

Lin: When we got to Canada, we soon realised that our situation was not as good as we had expected. For a while we just wanted get back to China as soon as we had graduated. I would have been quite happy for Chen to become a math teacher in China. But after a few years I had begun to see a lot of good things about life in Canada and I stopped wanting to return to China. But after Chen became a believer in the Lord, and even before, he had told me, "If God really exists, then we must go back to China. Nobody in China has heard the Good News. So if God is real, we should go back to China to preach the Gospel." After he became a Christian he really wanted to return to China, but I was already aware of how much better off we were in Canada.

Chen: When I first came here, I believed that survival was more or less dependent on one's professional ability. If a person was professionally competent, he would have better chances of surviving in Canada than in China. When Lin Fang first came here she was very homesick, and the fact that we were living in a basement made her even more miserable. She pleaded with me, "Oh, let's just go back home!" But I replied, "No. I'd much rather die here." People like us who had just arrived from China very quickly saw the economic and social differences between China and overseas countries. So we resolved to stay on here.

When I started to seek the Lord, however, I said to Lin Fang, "If God is indeed real, then I'd prefer to give up my studies. We ought to go back to China and preach the Gospel."

Q: This is most interesting. Tell me why you thought this way? If God was real, why would you want to go back to China?

Chen: It's as if a mother and father had had children, but the children had never known about their parents. Then one day someone told one of the children that these people were actually his parents and that they loved him. I believe that the first thing this child would do would be to tell this good news to his brothers and sisters.

I was thirty years old when I believed in the Lord. Whenever I prayed, I would weep and say, "Oh Lord ! Never in the last thirty years have I lived one single day for You, but even so You have always loved me. You even died for me. If You give me another chance, I will live every single day of my life from now on just for You!"

Is it worth it?

Q: I'm afraid that many people, and especially your friends, your former classmates and colleagues and even your family members must be saying, "How stupid! You made it all the way to Canada and you've even got your Ph.D. Whatever would make you come back to China?"

Lin: Yes, we've heard all this. And I can quite understand them. But then they know nothing about the kingdom of Heaven.

Chen: I remember the first time I went back to my home village. My uncle was quite well known in the village; and one day he said to me, "Let me tell you frankly,. we are very disappointed about your coming back. You have made us all lose face. Look at those other successful people and then see how useless you are! How can you come back here to talk about Jesus? Only uneducated people talk about Jesus. If you are any good, why don't you earn some money and help out your mother?" I felt bad when I heard this. But the Lord strengthened my faith and made me feel blessed to endure scorn and humiliation for the sake of His name.

Q: Many of the brothers and sisters are concerned about you. And a lot of people pity you too. They are sorry that you gave up your life in North America and your opportunities of career advancement. The only thing you wanted to do was to go into China's rural areas to preach the Gospel, but many people are questioning whether it is really worth it. I'd like to know what you think? What has made you so determined?

Lin: I can understand the question if it's non-believers who are asking. They're asking because they don't understand why we are doing what we do. However, when people who have been Christians for a long time still say to us, "How can you give up so much?" then I don't understand. I think that once we have become believers it is quite reasonable to offer our bodies to Him as living sacrifices.

Chen: I came from the countryside and I had a very hard life as a child. I had to learn to be self-reliant and I kept trying to figure out where human suffering came from. Before I was born, my grandmother hanged herself, and when I was just five my father also committed suicide. My mother was very strict on me. It was not until much later that I realized that she loved us all. I had no close friends and when I wanted to talk I did not know who to talk to. It was not until I believed in the Lord in 1996 that I began to know the freedom we have in the Lord. When I truly tasted this freedom, I began to realise just how wonderful it was and I told myself how worthwhile it would be if I could preach this Good News and someone else's life could be transformed through Jesus the way mine had been .

Isn't this a terrible waste?

Q: You have a Ph.D. degree from a famous university and your English is very good too. Did it never occur to you that you could have a great future if you returned to China as a math professor or if you stayed on in North America as a mathematician? If you had a professional career and served the Lord at the same time, wouldn't that glorify the Lord even more? Wouldn't it have been a good testimony that the Lord did not choose a low IQ person, but that He had picked an intellectual with social status, a truly outstanding individual? What's your response to this suggestion?

Chen: In terms of social values, a Ph.D. degree is indeed really something. But when you fix your eyes on the Lord, you see that a degree is worth nothing at all. God is majestic and mysterious, beyond our comprehension. I remember two verses from the Book of Job: "If you sin, how does that affect him? If your sins are many, what does that do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give to him, or what does he receive from your hand?" (Job 35:6-7) The most important thing is to do what the Lord wants us to do.

My greatest burden is for China's rural areas. I came from there and I know the poverty of the people's lives there. I know how hopeless their lives are, how bad their living conditions and how low their social status is. If I could preach the Gospel to them, then that would be the most valuable accomplishment of all. A person can make many plans. But while you are busy making your plans, your family members in China or your friends there may die without an opportunity of knowing the Lord. So we have decided to go back there to tell them the Good News. I prayed and the Lord has opened the way for me. I believed in the Lord in 1996 and by the next year I had an opportunity of preaching the Gospel in China.

Q: Some people have said that it would have been sufficient for you to do evangelistic work during the summer vacations. Couldn't you preach the Good News without actually giving up your profession? Isn't it a pity to completely give up your profession?

Chen: Lin Fang's father said exactly the same thing, "Wouldn't it be better for you to be a part-time minister and at the same time carry on with your math research?" Many Christian brothers and sisters also tried to persuade us along those lines. Some even said that it was really a terrible waste. Others say, "Ministers are needed everywhere. There's a great need right here in North America." We have also received invitations from other churches asking us to join them once we complete our theological training. But I still believe that my greatest burden is for my home village because that is where I came from.

I wonder why so many people are trying to dissuade us? One important reason is that life in North America is much better than in China. But we need to realize that we are really only strangers in this world. It is as if I have come to your home as a visitor. If you own a lot of things, why should I be envious? The Bible says that we are strangers on the earth and our eternal home is in heaven. So from that point of view it is all the same. We are all strangers no matter where we live. The most important thing is that we should be where the Lord wants us to be.

It is like Mary breaking her jar of perfume. I believe it is by the Lord's grace that we are able to go back to our home village. I often feel how gracious it is of God to be willing to use me, smaller than an ant in His eyes, to achieve His purposes. In 1997 while I was still working on my degree I thought about quitting school, knowing that I couldn't take a university degree to heaven with me. But the Lord soon made me realize that the key thing was not whether or not I should aim at a degree, but whether I was willing to give everything I had to Him. When the five loaves of bread and two fish were given to the Lord, they were enough to bring glory to His name. Today, I have a Ph.D. degree and the Lord in His grace may be pleased to use this degree to glorify Himself, because what we can accomplish is still so very limited. It is as Paul said: "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." (Phil. 3:7)

Q: Mr. Chen, with your Ph.D. degree from a well-known university, do you realize that you may be more effective spreading the Gospel among intellectuals?

Chen: I believe the Lord had His good purpose in giving me my degree. Last year I went back to China to preach to intellectuals. Over three hundred college students attended the event and over one hundred of them accepted the Lord. I could see that the Lord really used my degree. But the burden has God given to me is still for the rural areas. I believe the Lord will give the burden of preaching to intellectuals to other believers.

Can you adapt to village life?

Q: Mrs. Chen, I know that when you left China you had your own dreams. Now that Chen Hong is making this sacrifice for the Lord, you won't be able to realize those dreams. Could you share with us some of your thoughts about this?

Lin: For a while I couldn't make sense of it all. Chen Hong had always told everybody that we should obey the Lord's will and that if the Lord wanted us to stay in North America we should stay, but we should go back to China if the Lord so wished. Then I thought: Why would the Lord want to send Chen Hong back to China? But I finally got it figured out. The Lord loves intellectuals and professors. And He loves illiterate peasants too. If the Lord uses us to bring those illiterate peasants to Him, even just a handful of them, then that will be by His grace. I don't think it is a waste at all. On the contrary I believe that He counts us trustworthy.

Q: You grew up in the city and you are the daughter of a professor. You have never experienced village life. Even after your marriage to Chen, you never visited his home village. So can you adapt to village life? Can you live a simple life-style?

Lin: At first I couldn't imagine how I could manage it. However could I go back to China? And to village life too? Then as I read the Bible I realized that material things are nothing. The lust of the eyes and the cravings of sinful man will all pass away. What remains is our relationship with the Lord. Rural life is tough, but I believe that the Lord's grace will be sufficient for me. Problems of daily life, even things like taking a shower or going to the bathroom, can all be overcome.

Recently I read a book, which brought me great encouragement. The name of the book was Mountain Rain and it was about a 22-year-old English missionary who, as an engineer, would have had a great future in England, but who went to a rural area in China to preach the Gospel. His only belongings were two mules and a few items of clothing.

Q: It has taken a great act of faith for you to make the decision to go back to China. But once you get there, your livelihood will be a practical problem. The number of supporters you may have may be very limited. But if you had stayed on in North America, you would have no problem getting a Ph.D. degree in theology. Then maybe one day you could become a famous evangelist. But if you go to rural areas in China, maybe you will never become known. And maybe you will die there. Have you thought of that?

Chen: I believe that many other brothers and sisters have walked this path before us. I came from the country. Even before I became a believer in the Lord, I had learned there was always hope with Heaven. I believe That the Lord has given me this burden and that He will not fail me. In the past whenever we were in need, the Lord always provided. I remember the first time I went back to China. I did not have enough money to buy a train ticket from my home village to Beijing. I prayed, "Oh Lord, what am I to do?" Then one of my fellow workers came to see me. I did not tell him I had run out of money. But when I saw him off at the airport, he left all his remaining Chinese currency with me. It was just enough for a train ticket. I believe the more we look to the Lord, the more we will experience His grace. I also believe that you cannot be a good minister if you don't handle money in the right way.

Failed to obtain a U.S. visa?

Q: I know you are wanting to get more theological training and I have heard that a few seminaries have accepted your applications, but that because of visa problems, you are not able to continue your theological training. Some people are saying that since it was for the Lord's sake that you applied to the seminary, the Lord should have blessed you. How did you feel after your applications were rejected?

Chen: When I was in the seminary, I was facing a dilemma. We will be able to grow spiritually when we're in China but on the other hand, a solid Biblical foundation is also very important in our future service for the Lord. So I prayed, "Oh Lord. I am foolish. I don't know what you have planned for me. Please close all other doors and leave just one open so that I will know that that is the one you want me to go through." When our U.S. visa applications were rejected, we were a bit disappointed. But we still praised the Lord because the Lord had clearly showed us His will - stay in China.

Q: Today in North America, there is a tendency for being an evangelist to become a profession like any other worldly occupation. Serving the Lord seems to require its blueprints, goals and vision statements. What do you think?

Chen: I do not have any broad vision. I have only one desire and hope and that is to be able to work alongside Christianbrothers and sisters in my home villages to spread the Gospel among village folks. As I said earlier, if somebody else comes to experience the kind of life transformation through the Gospel as I did, then my life will already have been of value. For man, there are important things and there are unimportant things. For the Lord, there are those who are trustworthy and there are those who are not. As far as I am concerned, if one is a believer in the Lord, he should not live in vain. When the Lord comes again and we all gather before him He will not ask if we have accomplished anything great, but He will want to know if we have served Him faithfully.

After the interview

When I first read To the nameless missionaries by Brother Bian Yun-bo a few years ago, my heart was deeply moved. I appreciated that this life was an abundant life, transformed by the life of Jesus Christ, nurtured by the life of Jesus Christ and filled with the very life of Jesus Christ.

When I first met the Chens a year ago, I was struck by their strong sense of compassion. It was a strong deep compassion, cleansed by the blood of Jesus, tested in the valley of the shadow of death and filled with the sweetness of the water turned to wine. I'd like to conclude this interview in the words of Brother Bian:

Facing your abundance,

I feel I am small and poor;

Facing your magnificence,

I feel I am ignorant and to be pitied.

Today, I have nothing to give,

No pleasing words to utter.

I only wish to give you my heart

Tol accompany you wherever you go

Till the Lord returns!

With the consent of the interviewees, this interview uses fictitious names. The author came from Xi'an. She now works in a bankin Toronto, Canada.