Is Life Only Worth A Dollar?

By Guo Kai-zhi

A Seizure alters my ideology

From childhood I had been brainwashed to fight all my life for communism., even though I was too young to understand what communism was really all about. As I grew up, I learned from history and the political textbooks that communism meant Great Harmony, the ultimate stage of social development in which all lived together in happiness and prosperity.

How wonderful it would be! So the goal of my life was for communism to become a reality throughout the world.

What would we need to do to reach this ideological goal? We were taught that human beings can control nature. In order to reach the heaven of communism we need only rely on our own strength!

During the period of The Great Leap Forward in 1958, the government claimed that China was ahead of everyone else in its readiness to enter into a fully communist society! The news generated much excitement among innocent little students like me. Day after day we waited anxiously for the day to arrive.

But the historical realities did not offer nearly as much excitement. In the second year came both natural disasters and deteriorating political relations with the Soviets. No one ever knew how many people starved to death over the next three years. I only remember that I personally suffered extreme hunger. One night I even had a seizure.

Soon after that the turbulent Cultural Revolution took place! Every day I lived in anxiety and fear. I was so busy fighting for my own survival that I had no time left to dream about communism.

Then came the downfall of the Gang of Four, followed by economic reforms and the wave of the Exodus as so many tried to go abroad. It was only then that I began to realize that communism was a long way off and that it was time I got back to reality. So quietly I replaced my previous life-goal with a new one - scientific research. I even dreamed of winning the Nobel prize. I had a real confidence in my own intelligence, talents and ability. I believed I was quite capable of making the best arrangement for the rest of my life.

Is life only a bunch of elements?

So I made up my mind to study really hard in the hot field of genetic engineering. I did everything I could and tried all means to get overseas. In 1985, I finally succeeded in coming to America, the world's leading country in science and technology. I considered this my first step toward identifying the value of my own life.

But once again my dream was shattered, this time by the gunfire of the June 4^th Movement. The capriciousness of life and death and the unpredictability of both success and failure made me question life's meaning.

According to evolutionism, the formation of life on earth was purely coincidental. Under certain conditions of temperature, humidity and air pressure, elements like carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen accidentally collided with each other to produce the first amino acid. Then several of these amino acids somehow got together to form a polypeptide. Several of these polypeptides also got together and inexplicably formed a protein. Then after thousands of years the first living cell came into being. Life then began to evolve from a unicellular form to a multicellular form, from simple to complex, and from primitive to advanced. Finally, after long aeons of effort apes developed into the human species.

According to this theory, our body is no more than a pile of bones and flesh composed of several chemical elements. Once I found an interesting description in a booklet named Was the Bible Breathed by God: "Our body contains enough fat to make 6 pieces of bar soap, enough phosphorus to make 226 matches, enough lime to sterilize a chicken coop, enough acid to kill the fleas on a dog and enough iron to make a nail. In addition, our body contains a handful of salt, a cup of sugar and a little nitrogen, just enough to make a bowl of gunpowder. The combined value of these elements is less than a dollar." How devoid of value we would be if this was all we consisted of!

According to materialism, we are product of a random evolutionary process and when we die we decompose back into chemical elements which return to the earth. If this is true, then our life is no more than an accident. But what meaning can an accidental life have? What is the difference between life and death anyway? If we are all simply going to revert to a heap of inorganic elements, then why bother fighting over goals or ideology?

A dead end?

Life was meaningless, but I didn't really want to die either. A miserable life is better than a dead body, as a Chinese saying puts it. But how should I live? Evolutionism believes in the survival of the fittest and the extinction of the weak. But if every one of us were to live our lives along these lines, then where does justice fit in? Where is faith, hope and love? Will not the whole world become no different from a zoo?

When I found myself scarcely able to breathe under the weight of these burdensome thoughts and anxieties, some Christians opened up my heart by their selflessness and pure love. I began to search for answers in the Bible.

From my many years of experience in biological and medical research, I could not believe that the theory of evolution was capable of explaining the complexity, intricacy, wonder and mystery of the formation of the human body. Humbling myself to seek the truth with my spirit and in complete honesty, I was able to find the answer to the problem which has puzzled generations of wise people for thousands of years.

God said: "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." (Genesis 1:26-27) How precious we are in God's eyes! Just as I was thinking that I was stuck in a bottomless pit, I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

After much Bible study, prayer and fellowship, I now firmly believe that my life is a part of God's great plan. Like an insignificant piece of tile, its value will only be visible when the entire building is erected in all its splendor.

Although there are still many things I do not understand, the light of truth will eventually chase away the darkness. I believe that God will reveal the truth to me. As a creature, I believe that my highest life-goal is to discover the plan of the Creator for me and to try to make it happen. So my new principle of life is to obey the Lord and to do my best.

New hope

As we evaluate our life with a different scale, we have different actions and responses.

In the past, my life-goal at one point had been communism; then this was replaced by science. In each case, my enthusiasm had been completely disappointed. After I came to America, I enjoyed a successful career, a handsome income and a happy family, and I became one of the few people in America who had no debt. But so what? I still did not know where I had come from, nor any idea where I would go after I died. My inner self was empty, my health deteriorating. I was often depressed, a small boat floating aimlessly on a dark ocean. In times of crisis I was often deeply anxious.

But since I adopted a new world-view, my life has become more meaningful than ever before. I have become a completely new person: I feel much better now; my health is improving. I am content with my daily life and I am hopeful about the future. The sky is filled with sunshine, the fields are beautiful and people are nice too. I truly believe that our heavenly Father will provide the best for his children. I firmly believe that the Almighty Creator controls the future of human beings. I now realize that our lives become positive and meaningful if we are willing to obey the Lord.

This eternal hope provides with a completely new meaning for our lives.

The author came from Sichuan. Now he works at the Medical Center of University of Irvine, California, USA.