Three Stories of Life as an Alien

By Ma Ji

I We were all friends

As soon as I learned that I was to become an alien in another country, I began to worry. What would this foreign place look like?

Some people told me that this city was a lovely place, and certainly it had an attractive name. Yet for me it was a complete stranger.

Some people said that in winter it could reach 30 degrees below zero, with the sun settiing at around 4 in the afternoon. So probably the winters would be very long and cold.

Whatever would that be like?

So, with my subtropical heart full of confusion and anxiety, I left Hong Kong and following the crowd landed in this country far north of the equator.

The baggage claim area was crowded. Everywhere there were the sounds of people greeting one another. But their clothes and personalities, the expressions on their faces, the color of their skin and their voices were all so different from ours. I really felt like an alien as I realized that we were going to be these people's next-door neighbors, all living under the same corner of the sky.

And where would we stay?

My daughter and husband seemed like midgets alongside these foreigners. We waited anxiously for the people whom the local pastor was sending to meet us at the airport and whom we had never met.

They finally turned up, and we found that these two new friends were extremely warm and friendly. We followed them out of the baggage claim area into a vast parking lot which stretched before us like an endless sea.

As the car sped along the busy ten-lane highway we had our first experience of the breadth and richness of this country. So we had finally become aliens.

Anxious to assure us of their welcome, our new friends took us to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. As I tasted the Chinese food and heard Cantonese being spoken, I felt as if it had been an age since we had had enjoyed such luxuries, although it was barely ten hours ago that we had left Hong Kong. I was so grateful for their loving thoughtfulness and this positive first impression lingered in my heart for a long time. Here was a couple whom we had never met and everything had been arranged by the local church, yet before she went off to work each morning our hostess set up breakfast for us, and left us a prepared lunch in the refrigerator. After work she arrived home with lots of food for dinner. Even in their kitchen and dining room we sensed their love and thoughtfulness.

Besides the delicious food each day, we also enjoyed the warmth of their family life. Although we had never met before we were soon chatting together like old friends meeting up again. It was eight or ten days before we had finished telling one another our personal stories from childhood onward.

It was amazing that two families who had lived at opposite ends of the world for so many years with nothing to do with each other, could overcome this geographical separation and come together like this. There is so much in this world which can be unpredictable and sensitive... Yet here we're all friends. In these cold times, it is a joy indeed to enjoy the hospitality of others and to share their love.

II You're ill

I hear that you're quite seriously ill. But how can I go and visit you? I hardly know you; we've only met once.

Everybody is talking about your illness and we're all concerned.

"I've got to go to work. So I can only give you a call."

"It's the same for all migrants, with no relatives or friends and nobody to care for them. We all have our own troubles to contend with. I went through exactly the same thing."

"She's not well but she still has to look after the baby. Think how hard it must be for her."

"It's always like this for the women. Even when they're sick, they still have to do all the cooking and household chores and look after the kids."

We're all worried about you.

I decided to call you anyway. When I hear how weak your voice is, I feel really bad. I want to come over and see you.

One hot afternoon, we finally meet. You look so thin and weak. You're meant to stay in bed, but you have the whole family to take care of. Your courage impresses me. And I feel ashamed.

Ever since my arrival in this foreign country, thoughts of home keep lingering in my mind and especially at holiday times. When I'm sick I pine for my parents. I often lose sleep for no reason. I get sorry for myself. I'm astonished how you manage to keep going, in spite of your times of physical weakness.

You tell me that you feel sorry for yourself too, and long to be with your parents. And you also long to get some rest and to get well soon. But even when the situation is not what you would like it to be, you stay positive. This is just the way you are. And it's also the best way.

I remember a Bible verse: "Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord." (Ps. 121:1-2) You tell me that you, too, are relying on the Lord's help. Then I realize how much better our lives can be if we remember the existence of God.

You say that you thank the Lord for the comfort and support my unexpected visit has brought you. Wow! so now I'm an angel! But as I cradle your baby to give you a moment of rest, I am deeply moved. In this cold indifferent world, it is a luxury to be able to meet and encourage each other. You are my angel too. I'll stop complaining. I will be more positive. No matter how dark the day looks, the sun will eventually outshine the clouds. And it's the same with life.

III Fun doing the laundry

In ancient times, romantic tales often centred around maidens washing their clothes and bathing at the riverside.

It is said that Xi Shi used to wash her clothes at the Creek of Wan Xi Sha. Her story became part of a popular idiom for beauty and her love story made it into the classics. In the Bible there is also a story about bathing at the river-side. One day, an Egyptian princess was bathing in the river when she discovered a basket floating by. She asked her maid to bring it over and found there was a small baby lying in it. The princess was so touched by the lovely baby that she adopted him. When the baby grew up, he turned into a great national hero who rescued his people out of danger and became part of a wonderful historic story.

In advanced countries it seems that doing the laundry is meant to be fun. There is a TV commercial in which a pretty lady turns a whole lot of dirty clothes into clean ones just by extending one jade-like finger to push a button. She is wearing a beautiful ball-dress to do her laundry and she watches the clothes fly out of the washer one by one like flowers floating in the sky.

Men get confused by this commercial and wonder why their own wives do not look nearly so graceful at home. Why don't they wear evening gowns while they do the housework?

It was not until I came to this advanced country that I discovered that not everybody had a washer or a dryer at home. Many of them take their clothes to a public laundry once a week. and spend several hours there before carrying the clean clothes homeagain.

We joined them. I was a bit disoriented the first time I saw the dozens of washers and dryers lined up there like a large factory. There was no Xi Shi; there was no princess. There were only men and women busily loading and unloading their clothes.

This supposedly private activity was being carried out in public. There was no privacy. And where was the romance of the commercial with the clothes flying out of the washing machine?

A few weeks later, however, I was seeing something far more interesting in the laundry than was shown in the commercials.

When I took my first load of clothes to the laundry, I didn't feel at all comfortable. I felt ashamed and self-conscious. It all seemed such a waste of time, too. The drive there and back and the waiting usually took up to three hours. I could do a lot in those three hours. But everyone else seemed to have got used to this lifestyle. Some women would come in alone and quickly put their clothes into different washing machines. Then they would pull over a bench, spread out a lot of papers, a calculator and some stationery and get to work. As soon as there was a noise from the washing machine, they would dash over, remove all the wet clothes and load them into the dryer before getting back to work.

Then there were the young couples. They would put their clothes in before sneaking out like newly-weds. After a while they would come back, load the wet clothes into the dryers and sneak out again. They would be back again just in time to pull the dry clothes out of the dryer. They laughed and chatted as they folded the clothes and placed them back in the basket. When they pulled out a bed sheet, they twisted left and right trying to fold it the right way. One of them wanted it folded this way and the other wanted it the other way. One wanted to fold it into a rectangle and the other preferred a square. It was so sweet and there was no sign of them feeling embarassed.

Sometimes you would see a whole family come in. Daddy, Mommy and the kids, all with their own baskets. Each one would load their own washer, inserting their own coins and pushing their own buttons. Then the adults sat down to read the paper while the kids opened up potato chips or candy bars or toys, all in a circle around the adults. The youngest was about 3 or 4, full of energy. Every time he pushed the button, he would look around proudly at everyone else, as if to proclaim his accomplishment.

The hours they spent there were cheerful and nobody was complaining. They were all as happy as if they were on a family outing. When they were done, they happily pushed their carts away, the adults holding the hands of the little ones and the woman holding on to the man,s arm. There was no sign of any embarassment.

By this time, I think, I didn't have any complaints either. Every time I went off to the laundry cheerfully. Later on, as I learned some of the background of these laundry stores, with its links back to our older suffering generations, I was very humbled.

Discovering the joys of doing the laundry was something very important for me. It wasn't the joy of the beautiful lady with her graceful figure in the commercial, nor the illusion that the commercial is trying to promote. It was the joy of togetherness with your neighbors. A joy which quietly ended one day when a friend of ours gave us a washing machine as a gift!

The author came from Hong Kong. She now lives in Chicago.