His Amazing Grace

The worst thing was having to give a presentation in class .When I stood up I was so nervous that I could only read out what I had written. Worse still, the advisor kept correcting my pronunciation all through my presentation.

By Chung Reng Ming

Job loss and a broken marriage

After receiving my Master's degree in Oslo, Norway, in 1993, I found myself more than once having to choose between two jobs. But now I am talking about being unemployed. From the end of 1996, Asia went into a period of economic depression and I was laid off. Apart from two periods of short-term employment with a couple of newspapers and in two companies, I was unemployed for four years and ten months.

I concluded that my circumstances must be due to "being unlucky" or "bad fate", for during those years, no matter what I did, I could not get a job. I wrote more than 600 application letters, attended four different employment courses, and borrowed money to attend a Microsoft Word System Engineering class. I bought computer studies books from Amazon and self-improvement books and tapes from other sources. But all for nothing.

My mental state and my financial situation went steadily downhill until my Norwegian wife kicked me out, yelling, "You're useless!". I could not afford to buy Christmas presents for my children. At one point, I could only buy instant noodles for supper. I had stomach problems from not eating properly, and arthritis too as there was no heat in the house. It was in the middle of the night in midwinter when my wife kicked me out and I had to sleep in a small train station. While there I fell and broke a bone and almost lost my life.

At that time, we had been living in a student dormitory complex. My Norwegian wife used to shout and scream abuse at me until all the neighbors knew what was going on in our house; I just had to get away from her. For a long time I was virtually homeless, sleeping here and there in different dorms.

Once I was found out for doing this and ordered by the dormitory manager to move out. Eventually I found a place to stay in a different city. But after I moved in, I discovered that most of the residents there were either refugees from Claudia, homeless people, recently released criminals, or psychiatric patients with mental problems. There was a mental hospital nearby, with extensive grounds where hospital patients could go out for walks. It was rare to meet anyone normal there.

Finally, one day I had a Chinese visitor. I was so happy and chatted with him for a while. I felt that he was the first "normal" person I had met up with for a long time. He was more normal than I was !. However, a few days later, a Norwegian friend told me, "That Chinese friend of yours has been in the mental hospital for two years. They've only just let him out." After this I hid away in my 15 foot square home and did not interact much with any one.

One Christmas Eve, I bought some food with the little money I had and took it to my ex-wife and two children. As I put the food in the refrigerator, my son started yelling at me, and my ex-wife came rushing up and scratched my face and abused me. Angry and helpless, I left and went back to my dark little hut.

Late that night, I heard Norwegian people laughing outside and and the sound of firecrackers. I sat huddled up in one corner of the house, and in the darkness, I reflected sadly on my life. The scratch on my face did not hurt any more but it was a symbol of the insults I had endured. I had no tears left. I had become numbed. All the glorious achievements of my past had become meaningless....

In Beijing I had had a high salary in a foreign company. I had acted as interpreter for a vice-governor from Australia. At receptions and press conferences, I had stood up front giving simultaneous interpretation for both government officials and business tycoons from Australia. At one reception, there were even three Chinese government assistant ministers at my table. I was in a class which was highly respected in society.

But now here I was, curled up in a corner in the dark, reflecting on my life. Unpaid bills had been piling up and I could be kicked out at any time. On this Christmas Eve, no one had called me or knocked at my door. I had become as worthless as my ex-wife said I was. I felt that if I left the world now, no one would miss me. Life had no meaning. Life was death and death was life. Neither would make much difference to me.

Past glories

I used to admire the concept of "self-struggle" and was proud of myself. When I was in elementary school, I was one of three students selected from more than one thousand to attend a foreign language exam in Beijing. I won a composition award at school and was called into the principal's office to be congratulated.

When I was in the fourth grade, the Cultural Revolution took place. During my three years in middle school, I dug bomb-shelters and I went to the countryside to do physical work in a labor camp . In a suburban area of Beijing, I was a woodcraft technician for 7 years in a wood product factory.

From 1972 onwards I started listening to the Radio Beijing English classes run by Wu Ching. At the same time, two neighbor ladies who were English teachers gave me a lot of help. In 1977, the college entrance examinations were held again. I failed the exam as my maths scores were too low. But in 1978 I took the exam again, hoping to get into the foreign language department. My English scores were ranked among the top ten, but because of my maths score, I went to the University of Si-Chung.

Like many young Chinese people, I thought that as long as I worked hard, I could have a successful career. I also considered myself quite smart and enterprising.

In 1982, I got into the Friendship Service Company in Beijing, and then I served in the Australian Neal Company. In foreign industry circles, my boss Neal was notorious for not being easy to get along with. Before I left China in 1995, I was the only employee who had not been fired by Neal. The first project assigned to me after I entered the firm was to get some money back from a debtor. Others had been trying to accomplish this for a long time. But I was successful, and so my boss treated me well. Every time he needed to go out for business talks, he would take me along.

In the summer of 1995, a trade mission from Australia's Queensland State Government came for a visit. I was responsible for the two-way translation. For three weeks, I travelled with them on visits to four cities. All the way I received praise and encouragement. On our last stop, at the reception in Fu-Chow, Mr. Gunn, the vice president of the Australian group, even proposed three cheers for me, to show their appreciation.

In February 1993, I graduated from Oslo University. Three months after returning to China, I got a job with the Finland Nokia Company doing market development. At that time, the company had a special employee policy. Whenever the CEO came to visit in China, he would get together with all his employees from Finland and other foreigners, but none of the Chinese. I was not pleased with this kind of treatment. I had also planned to re-join my Norwegian wife and son. So I left the company and returned to Norway at the end of that year.

In 1995, I was working for a shipping firm in Norway.

In the spring of 1996, I went to South America with a Chinese buyer to look for ships to purchase. We flew to Boston for a meeting. Although many times the talks were on the verge of collapse, after three weeks we finally signed the contract. That night, I felt I was the happiest man in the world. My boss even called from Oslo to congratulate me. Suddenly I felt so proud. I had been a Christian for several years but I hardly ever went to church. By this time, I only believed in myself. I felt I could rely on myself to create opportunities and achieve things.

But after the contract was signed, things suddenly changed. China was carrying out military exercises in the Taiwan Straits before the election in Taiwan, and the American bank refused to give letters of credit for the China-based company. Because the Chinese government limited people from using electronic transactions, the signed contract was invalid. I knew I was facing the loss of a big bonus and for the first time I felt utterly helpless and a failure.

Rescuing my daughter

After all this frustration, I lost the will to live, but I could not bear to leave my two children, especially my lovely little one-year-old daughter. I thought of a friend who had often told me about smuggling as an easy way to make big money. I decided to try it out.

I called this friend and told him that I would like to have a go, but inside I struggled. I felt the risk might be too great and it might not be worth it. I came from an intellectual family. Mom had always reminded me not to get into trouble by getting involved in deals with people from Hong Kong or Taiwan. She sounded like a party leader ordering people to be alert to class struggle. I thought that if I got into smuggling, I would not be able to face her. So I finally decided not to get involved.

During my most difficult time, God comforted and warmed me through my two precious children. A friend from Finland often called me to support me. As I pushed my daughter along in the baby-buggy on the way to childcare, I would sing her a lovely Christian song, and the little one would sing along. Her sweet childish voice pierced my cold heart, bringing a sense of warmth and comfort. Even a big Mercedes-Benz swishing past and spattering mud all over me could not change my mood.

As I sang, all my troubles vanished away. I no longer felt embittered towards society for the loss of my job, nor jealous of those with high positions in big companies or in government. These people were not as capable as me. It had taken them four or five years to finish their thesis while I had only needed one year. Because I had no job, I had to depend on social welfare. But as long as I could sing along with my daughter, even in my present circumstances I was a man greatly blessed. It was this song that gave me hope for the future.

A short time before my ex-wife had reminded me that Mrs. Chang, the pastor's wife, had taught us this song when we went for marriage counseling at the church. It was originally a Christmas song and lots of people sang it during the Christmas season. But I sang it almost every day. It was like a candle in a winter night. Although such a small thing, it warmed my heart and gave me courage.

One day towards the end of April, I went to see my children. My son was not at home. Only my little daughter and my ex-wife were there. I turned on the TV to watch NBC. My ex-wife was doing housework close by. My one-year-old daughter had gone into the bedroom to play and the door was closed. Suddenly, my ex-wife screamed, "Louisa!" Then she ran into the bedroom. I did not know what had happened and followed her. I saw my daughter lying on the floor. My wife picked her up. Her face was scarlet but she was very quiet.

Ex-wife said, "Look into her mouth and see if there is anything there." I did so but could find nothing. I started shaking and ran to make an emergency call. My ex-wife was very calm and asked me to try to explore my daughter's mouth once more. This time, I touched something and pulled it out. It was a one franc coin, covered with blood.

My daughter gave a cry, and my ex-wife and I were so relieved. It was amazing. I said to my ex-wife, "It was not us who saved our daughter. It was God." "I heard someone call me" she replied, "and it wasn't you. It was a voice was from a long way away and it told me to go and see to our daughter. Then I heard her crying." She said that the voice she heard was God's voice. She had heard this same voice before in church when she was a little girl, and in dreams.

When this happened, my ex-wife and I had been in the living room. The TV was turned up loud and the bedroom door was closed. My daughter had just swallowed the coin so she would not have made any noise, and even if she could have we still would not have heard it. My ex-wife had symptoms of depression but this time she had never been so calm. This event really shook me There was no other explanation but that this had been an act of God's grace.

I got the job so easily

The day after the summer camp, as I was on the train home, I thought back over my experiences of the past few years. Then as I thought about what had happened at the summer camp, my tears streamed down. In a low voice I told God, "Lord, I belong to you. I will use my life to glorify you." After that, I read my Bible and prayed every night, asking God to help and guide me. After only three weeks, God answered my prayer.

I had applied for a job in a high school. After posting out the application I had thought no more about it. One day on the subway, I received a cell phone call from the school. Because I was on the train, I could not hear clearly what was being said. I thought it must be another rejection. For so many years I had been used to being turned down.

But suddenly I made out that they wanted to interview me in an hour's time. Because the school was located in a nearby city I needed to transfer to a bus after getting off the train, so when I got there I was about 5 minutes late. I thought it was all over for me.

I had applied for a position as a teacher's aid and I had brought no documentation with me. The interview only took 15 minutes and I was informed that they really wanted to hire a female teacher. I thought I had no hope. But the next day they called to offer me the job and asked me to start work the following Monday.

The school did not even check my graduation documents before offering me the job. This was quite unusual. Then, on my first day at work, they also offered me a full-time job instead of a part-time one. And the position was not as a teacher's aid but as "teacher".

For Chinese in America, this kind of position might not be big news, since in America many Chinese have become professors or even presidents in colleges, governors, or ministers in federal government. But in Norway, colored people only get blue-collar jobs. No colored person has ever been a principal of an elementary school. I met an Iranian who was a taxi driver for many years in spite of having a master's degree.

A friend from China, who used to be an instructor in Ze-Chung University, came to study for a master's degree. Because of racial discrimination, he could not find a job. He and his daughter had to sleep on the floor in a 10 square metre room. Before he left for the US, I went to visit him and saw his sweet little daughter sleeping on the floor wrapped in a blanket. In order not to wake her up, we stayed out on the stairway to talk. He let me sit on a cardboard box and he leaned against the wall. After we said goodbye, I felt so sad for a long time.

Three months later, something else happened which made me understand that God is truly a miracle-working God. Eleven years previously, a sister from Beijing had joined me in registering a trading company. For all those years we worked very hard, but time and again we failed. Because of racial discrimination, we had neither buyers nor contracts. But three months after I turned to the Lord, we got our first contract.

It's not because I am a good person

The Bible says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthews 6:33) I long to grow in my faith.

I think religion is a philosophical foundation for life and sets moral boundaries for society. It has provided the foundations of most civilized societies. To judge whether a society is well- developed or under-developed, we find the answer in its religious culture.

Why is it that the most well-developed countries, such as more than 30 of the member countries of the OECD, are all Christian countries? Why did the concept of democracy and equality not originate in other religions? Is this a coincidence? Why do most Chinese students choose America or European Christian countries to go to for further study? Is it because we are already aware that Christianity has had a tremendous influence on these countries?

It's not science or technology - these are quite superficial and not the foundation of a nation - that determine whether a country is strong or weak. From the Chin Dynasty onwards we have already imported a great deal of foreign technology and knowledge into China, but we are still poor and under-developed.

Nor is the foundation of a country its political system or social structure. India is a good example. On the surface, they have inherited western democracy and legal systems. But India has not accepted Christianity. Although it has other religions to set boundaries, people are still free to do anything, They have changed the English democratic system into something that is completely different. Some international organizations call India the most bureaucratic country in the world, full of business scams.

In the past twenty years, South Korea has greatly improved its economic situation. But behind it all there is the rapid spread of Christianity. For them, Christianity may be a religion from a foreign country, but 25% of their total population are Christians. Ten members of their national football team are Christians. The most politically and economically prosperous country in Africa is Ghana. Yet this country has the most Christians in Africa. Is this a coincidence?

Every country must have its own religion. It's like the foundation of the building. If we do not choose a good religion, then an evil one will come in. It is human instinct to seek after religious belief.

From 1996 to 2001 I tried so many ways to escape from my difficult circumstances. I read many famous books related to self-improvement.-from Kanakey to Anthon Robinson. I also read many business management books, from Donald Trump to Iaccoca. I also registered our company to do carry out business enterprises from advertising to consulting to international trading. I tried more than ten kinds of management styles for my business, but all were in vain.

Three weeks after I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour, my fate changed. Could this be a miracle? Pastor Moses Chow, who led me to accept the Lord, always said, "No one can see electricity, but we can all believe in the existence of God. We cannot see God, but we can experience God's miracles. What reason do you have for not believing in Him?"

My relationship with my son used to be far from good. Now I am applying the teaching of the Bible to the way I act and our relationship has improved. He also understands that Jesus wants us to love each other. God has been very gracious to him. He used to lack self-confidence because he was the poorest in his class. Now he does not worry. His academic performance is ahead of his class. He performs well in the soccer team and next year he will be attending an international tournament.

My daughter is just five years old. She goes to a Norwegian church. When I heard that she was taking up the offering in that big church, with all the people watching her and the pastor standing up in the front with her, I was really thankful to the Lord, as she used to be a very shy little girl.

My ex-wife's working contract is up and now she is unemployed. I told her, "Before, when I did not have a job, you told me that I was a worthless person. Today, you have no job. But I want to tell you that you are a person of great value. This isn't because I am an especially good person, it's because Jesus loves you." On the other end of the phone my ex-wife was very silent. I knew she was crying.

My experiences happened amid tears and sufferings. If I had found Jesus earlier, perhaps I would not have had to have so much pain. I would not have twice tried to kill myself nor have a broken marriage. Friends, if you are experiencing confusion, hardship and frustration, please go to church today. Pray to God and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. You will find that your best friend Jesus is waiting for you. He will never forsake you.

The author came to Norway in 1985 from Beijing. He was baptized in 1989 but because he was struggling to establish himself he hardly ever went to church. In the past few years, he has had many dramatic life experiences: a broken family, loss of job, homelessness, and two suicide attempts. In the summer of 2001, he returned to church. God heard his prayers and changed him. He now works in a high school in Norway.